Translation from Wife-Speak to Something Men Can Understand

Me: What time do you want to leave work, 4 or 5? (Tell me you want to leave at 4, hun, so I don't have to come and brave the traffic of this shareholders convention which is currently the bane of my existence.)

DH: 5

Me: Okay sweetie, but just in case I am really late, it's because I was stuck in the horrible traffic from the shareholder's meeting. (You should leave with me at 4 so I don't have to come near this nightmarish maze of people and policemen blocking the roads so that people can walk wherever the heck they want to.)

DH: That's fine, hun.

Me: All right, sweetheart. (What is wrong with you? Anyone could have understood that I wanted you to leave at 4. You are so making your own dinner tonight!)